melluransa: (Default)
Check out this insane poem, English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité. I got it from here!


If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité
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melluransa: (Default)
This video made me laugh so hard! It's a facebook link to a video. It's people saying words in French, English, Italian, Spanish....and then German. They picked words that are "lovely" sounding in the first four languages, and then very harsh and gutteral sounding words in German.

Like Butterfly!
Papillon, butterfly, farfalla, mariposa......SCHMETTERLING.

It's very hilarious. Click the link here to watch!
melluransa: (Default)
Not only do I pay attention to lecture, but I pay attention to the manner in which the lecture is presented. I have three classes over the summer, and they are taught by three different professors who are all totally different in their speaking style and the things they say. I jot down the funnier ones in the margins of my notebook. There are some real gems.

Read more... )
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melluransa: (Default)
For an assignment for school in which we have to analyze a story and its elements, I wrote a little tidbit about Bill and Tom, and analyzed it. More goes into a story episode than you think! You have to have certain story grammar elements for a story to be considered complete, and you have to add even more (we call it "story sparkle") to make your story interesting. There are a set of rules to follow. Children with language impairments who talk so normally you wouldn't suspect a thing struggle greatly with generating stories.

SO on to the juicy stuff. My little story, inspired by a doodle of mine. This story is called, "Bill in a Bucket."

Read more... )
melluransa: (Default)
This was fun! Here it is. In American English, I got 15/15 on tricky, 14/15 on difficult, and 5/15 on fiendish. In British English, I got 13/15 on tricky, 10/15 on difficult, and 5/15 on fiendish (lol, burrito. who doesn't know how to spell burrito?).
melluransa: (joon glasses hat smile)
I think the point of this film is to mimic the phonological rules of the English language. They do a really good job of it! My language geek side is showing.

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melluransa: (Bill schrei-ing)
Haha! I love that he performs them too. This guy is, like, my hero... you know?

Totally like whatever, you know?
by Taylor Mali

In case you hadn't realized, it has somehow become uncool to sound like you know what you're talking about?

Or believe strongly in what you're, like, saying?

Invisible question marks and parenthetical, "you-know's" and, "you-know-what-I'm-saying's" have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?

Even when those sentences aren't, like...questions?

Declarative sentences, so called because they used to like, you know, declare things to be true, okay?

As opposed to other things that are totally, you know, not?

They've been infected by this tragically cool and totally hip interrogative tone?

As if I'm saying, "Don't think I'm a nerd just like I've noticed this, okay?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions
I'm just, like, inviting you to join me on the bandwagon of my own...uncertainty?"

What has happened to our conviction? )
melluransa: (xiao hua tang men loling and smiling)
There is an ESL teacher and his/her Japanese student, and they do this project in which the student describes a random funny internet picture in a couple of sentences. Her captions are understated, brilliant, and hilarious.

This is an electronic muddler. When you put it in a cup of coffee, it stirs your coffee like it is swimming. It is funnier when you use a huge cup with it.
melluransa: (Default)
Just goes to show that language and culture are inextricable. It's cool to read this too, cuz the article is in English and Spanish. I copied and pasted and lj-cutted it because I'm afraid it will become a "404 page not found" page in a few years.

Read more... )
melluransa: (Bill no words wtf . . .)
I don't like "my bad," "where's it at," "irregardless," and "I could care less." There's a list here at BBC
melluransa: (Default)
The dot on an "i" is called a tittle.
The white curve at the end of the fingernail (emphasized by a french manicure) is called a lunule.
Man boobs are called gynecomastia.
A useless feature on a thing is called a skeuomorph.
Paresthesia is pins and needles feeling.
Those spots of colors you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.
An armscye is an armhole in a shirt.
A stomach rumble is called a wamble.
A peen is the side opposite the striking side of a hammer.
Rectal tenesmus is the feeling of incomplete defecation.
Misheard lyrics are caled mondegreen.
Petrichor is the smell of freshly fallen rain.
A purlicue is the space between the index finger and thumb.

Info from here. There's a few more at the link.
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melluransa: (gd eye and heart)
A beautiful poem called "Language Acquisition," written by Marie Ponsot, who struggles with her own language after having a stroke.

Language Acquisition

Burn, or speak your mind. For the oak to untruss
its passion it must explode as fire or leaves.
The delicious tongue we speak with speaks us.
A liquor of sweetness where its root cleaves
ripens fluent, as it runs for the desirous
reason, the touching sense. The infant says “I”
like earthquake and wavers as place takes voice.
Earth steadies smiling around her, in reply
to her self-finding pronoun, her focal choice.
We wait: while sun sucks earth juices up from wry
root-runs tangled under dark, while the girl
no longer vegetal, steps into view:
a moving speaker, an “I” the air whirls
toward the green exuberance of “You.”
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melluransa: (park jung min)
I already posted something about this. Language gives shapes to our thoughts, and shapes concepts, schemas, organization, categories, perception, emotion, and so much more. Language is seriously a huge chunk of how we think. It defines our entire world.

But it doesn't define everything, and we don't need it. It just helps; a LOT. Like the article ends with, words help us remember things. Like counting out loud. If you lose your place counting, just remember what word you just said and it's not that hard, you have the motor memory of yourself saying that word, and the auditory feedback of what you just sounded like saying it, and that's a huge headstart to remembering.
melluransa: (bill tom epic best of shoot TWIN POWER)
Most of them are hard to translate because you need the cultural context you don't get unless you were born and raised in it.
melluransa: (xiao hua tang men loling and smiling)
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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melluransa: (bill meh)
Only a internet savvy, meme-familiar Tokio Hotel fan can understand this particular language. I understood every word. -_-; I'm slightly ashamed. Taken from here.

hallo ich bin Towi Cowtits und ich liebe Jeska Elba so viel ich hab sexi hexi forehead ich lyke to herp derp mit orgasmic face humping mein geetar und ich hab sex mit gurls in ovah 25 cities zo much ich need a suitcase of condoms ;-)

ich just lyke big clotheses zat don't are lyke ma leetle bro Biu Cowtits meine zwillige who paint his face und vears size zero clotheses zat don't are ick lyke to call Hagen a duhrty hobbie he iz zo smelly und does beeg businez on zee toilet 24/7 if I was gurl fur one tag ich vant to b maiself 2 check maiself out und see how sexi hexi I are in dee showerr nekkid

ok zats all und p.s. ich bin supaman und ich bin beeyutiful anyweh ich kann do everything ich bin gott everybunny thx me zee whole tag ich bin zo gr3@t so viele ich liebe skittles
melluransa: (Default)
Wortspiele by Stanwin. It's win. That guy is creative.

Part one

Part two