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Check out this insane poem, English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité. I got it from here!


If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité
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This video made me laugh so hard! It's a facebook link to a video. It's people saying words in French, English, Italian, Spanish....and then German. They picked words that are "lovely" sounding in the first four languages, and then very harsh and gutteral sounding words in German.

Like Butterfly!
Papillon, butterfly, farfalla, mariposa......SCHMETTERLING.

It's very hilarious. Click the link here to watch!
melluransa: (Default)
This was fun! Here it is. In American English, I got 15/15 on tricky, 14/15 on difficult, and 5/15 on fiendish. In British English, I got 13/15 on tricky, 10/15 on difficult, and 5/15 on fiendish (lol, burrito. who doesn't know how to spell burrito?).
melluransa: (amtoria cute)
Inspired by Kseenaa, when she read Ronia, The Robber's Daughter in Swedish and English!

I only read a page or two of each book. I chose the part where Harry talks to the boa constrictor at the zoo. It took me significantly longer to read it in Spanish cuz I kept messing up! It's cool how I said the same lines but with different inflection unique to whatever language I was reading in.

Listen to it here! Escuchen aqui!

melluransa: (love is bill tom gustav and georg)
You know how sometimes you can unplug your headphone jack slightly and it removes the center, foreground sounds? You know, in a sound field.... the sounds in the center are usually the main vocals and effects. That's the foreground. And the other background effects are quieter and more "on the sides" and not in the center of the sound field? It's almost like those background sounds are "hidden" because they're simply not as prominent as the foreground sounds. There are secrets hiding in the background.

I did this with Tokio Hotel's Humanoid today. I discovered some neat things.

Read more... )
melluransa: (Bill schrei-ing)
Haha! I love that he performs them too. This guy is, like, my hero... you know?

Totally like whatever, you know?
by Taylor Mali

In case you hadn't realized, it has somehow become uncool to sound like you know what you're talking about?

Or believe strongly in what you're, like, saying?

Invisible question marks and parenthetical, "you-know's" and, "you-know-what-I'm-saying's" have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?

Even when those sentences aren't, like...questions?

Declarative sentences, so called because they used to like, you know, declare things to be true, okay?

As opposed to other things that are totally, you know, not?

They've been infected by this tragically cool and totally hip interrogative tone?

As if I'm saying, "Don't think I'm a nerd just like I've noticed this, okay?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions
I'm just, like, inviting you to join me on the bandwagon of my own...uncertainty?"

What has happened to our conviction? )
melluransa: (xiao hua tang men loling and smiling)
There is an ESL teacher and his/her Japanese student, and they do this project in which the student describes a random funny internet picture in a couple of sentences. Her captions are understated, brilliant, and hilarious.

This is an electronic muddler. When you put it in a cup of coffee, it stirs your coffee like it is swimming. It is funnier when you use a huge cup with it.
melluransa: (Bill no words wtf . . .)
I don't like "my bad," "where's it at," "irregardless," and "I could care less." There's a list here at BBC
melluransa: (bill tom epic best of shoot TWIN POWER)
Most of them are hard to translate because you need the cultural context you don't get unless you were born and raised in it.
melluransa: (xiao hua tang men loling and smiling)
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Ah I'm in heaven, this site is heaven. In a fun way it combines languages and phonetic combinations! *bliss*


"Abraham!" sprach Bebraham;
"Kann ich ma' dein Zebra ha'm?"

Kleine Kinder können keine kleinen Kirschkerne knacken.
Kleine Kirschkerne können kleine Kinder keine knacken.

Hay chicas chachareras que chacotean con chicos chazos. Y un chico mete al chillón de la chepa un chichón por chirrichote, y el chiste, y lo chocante, es que la chepa se le ha chafado con la hinchazón del chirlo.

El volcán de parangaricutirimícuaro se quiere desparangaricutiriguarízar, y él qué lo desparangaricutiricuarízare será un buen desparangaricutirimízador.

Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.

The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
melluransa: (Default)
Ah the Kaulitz twins, I love them so...

I like hippo.

melluransa: (Default)
TH thanks us for voting them "Best Band" in the 2009 EMAs.
melluransa: (Default)
This poem spotlights how confusing english spelling and pronunciation can be.
Heer, hier, here, hir...
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