The Formula for Beauty: Found in Bill Kaulitz?

[melluransa]

The Formula for Beauty: Found in Bill Kaulitz?



Mellu Ransa, Tokio Hotel Fake News
4-17-2012, Berlin, Germany

Scientists are currently researching an explanation as to the androgynous beauty of young Bill Kaulitz (19) of Germany. His exceeding good looks make the hearts of his hundreds of thousands of fans melt. Analysis of face structure ratios and eye color analysis (pictured) is being attempted, but is not expected to yield conclusive results.

"He's just got this quality about him," says Dr. Doctorman. "...in all my years as an aesthetic scientist specialist, I've never seen anything like Mr. Kaulitz before. It's difficult to define exactly what it is about his looks that make him so fascinating."

Studies with infants have been conducted, and the results were interesting: when presented with a picture of Kaulitz and a man (whose real identity will not be revealed for confidentiality reasons) named "Ludo," infants overwhelmingly preferred to gaze at the face of Kaulitz than Ludo. This same research design was conducted with a group of Kaulitz' fans, and results were identical.

"People literally cannot tear their eyes away from Kaulitz' glorious visage," continues Dr. Doctorman with an air of awe. "Data suggest that the golden proportions of Kaulitz' face are neurologically programmed and preferred from the moment the viewer first sees Mr. Kaulitz." Dr. Doctorman has tried to develop a formula for beauty from Kaulitz' face, but Kaulitz' face causes the computers to crash and reboot the moment they begin to analyze the data.

Computers are stumped, scientists are in awe, and fans continue to scream. There appears to be no reliable explanation for Kaulitz' intense beauty other than that he is just really beautiful.

And how does Mr. Kaulitz feel about all the attention? Smiling shyly, he divulges, "I am just a normal guy. I wake up and I look in the mirror. I don't say, 'What a good looking face.' I just have a normal relationship with the way I look. I just dress how I feel from one to another day." Bill's twin brother Tom (19) jibes, "Bill and me are twins, but it is obvious who has the better face. And I'm a little better downstairs if you know what I mean. That is what the research should be about."

Comments

[fyredancer.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

:3 I love you too.

[fyredancer.livejournal.com]

This really lifted my spirits!! What a great thing to enjoy at the end of a long day.

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

Really? I'm glad! It always makes me happy to think I made someone's day a little better. :)

[th-tinie.livejournal.com]

Very funny :)
Where did you find this pic?
<3

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

From the bk_daily lj comm... ask omgwtfskittles if you want more information.

[stolen-warmthth.livejournal.com]

This is what I shall live by. This article is what I shall base my life upon. Thank you girl! You have showed me the way! XDDDDDD

My life is compelete.

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

Bill is the beauty that surpasses all and there is no explanation. :)

[elizabeth21r.livejournal.com]

*bows* you're so awesome!

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Heee! Good morning to me. This is perfection. Much like Mr. Kaulitz. <3

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

Good morning! Some lovely Bill to blow your mind... Thank you and have a nice day. :)

[zeph317toho.livejournal.com]

You are amazing and fabulous and witty! <3 This was priceless. Especially the last couple sentences. That silly Tom -- always trying to make it all about him!

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D I love Tom at the end~ I almost didn't put him in, I was just going to have Bill talk. <3<3

[nupmetal.livejournal.com]

You’re freaking awesome and I love you tons, kay?. For real, honey <33

This is fantastic!. Of course that Bill's beauty is one of the greatest mysteries. And omg poor silly Tom, he just wants attention lol x)

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

Aww thank you for all the love!

The mystery of Bill's beauty... who will ever know how he is so beautiful! Whenever Tom feels neglected, he tells himself "I look beautiful anyway. I'm.... Superman." *pats Tom's cute little head*

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

*lol* X-D