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The Formula for Beauty: Found in Bill Kaulitz?
Mellu Ransa, Tokio Hotel Fake News
4-17-2012, Berlin, Germany
Scientists are currently researching an explanation as to the androgynous beauty of young Bill Kaulitz (19) of Germany. His exceeding good looks make the hearts of his hundreds of thousands of fans melt. Analysis of face structure ratios and eye color analysis (pictured) is being attempted, but is not expected to yield conclusive results.
"He's just got this quality about him," says Dr. Doctorman. "...in all my years as an aesthetic scientist specialist, I've never seen anything like Mr. Kaulitz before. It's difficult to define exactly what it is about his looks that make him so fascinating."
Studies with infants have been conducted, and the results were interesting: when presented with a picture of Kaulitz and a man (whose real identity will not be revealed for confidentiality reasons) named "Ludo," infants overwhelmingly preferred to gaze at the face of Kaulitz than Ludo. This same research design was conducted with a group of Kaulitz' fans, and results were identical.
"People literally cannot tear their eyes away from Kaulitz' glorious visage," continues Dr. Doctorman with an air of awe. "Data suggest that the golden proportions of Kaulitz' face are neurologically programmed and preferred from the moment the viewer first sees Mr. Kaulitz." Dr. Doctorman has tried to develop a formula for beauty from Kaulitz' face, but Kaulitz' face causes the computers to crash and reboot the moment they begin to analyze the data.
Computers are stumped, scientists are in awe, and fans continue to scream. There appears to be no reliable explanation for Kaulitz' intense beauty other than that he is just really beautiful.
And how does Mr. Kaulitz feel about all the attention? Smiling shyly, he divulges, "I am just a normal guy. I wake up and I look in the mirror. I don't say, 'What a good looking face.' I just have a normal relationship with the way I look. I just dress how I feel from one to another day." Bill's twin brother Tom (19) jibes, "Bill and me are twins, but it is obvious who has the better face. And I'm a little better downstairs if you know what I mean. That is what the research should be about."
Mellu Ransa, Tokio Hotel Fake News
4-17-2012, Berlin, Germany
Scientists are currently researching an explanation as to the androgynous beauty of young Bill Kaulitz (19) of Germany. His exceeding good looks make the hearts of his hundreds of thousands of fans melt. Analysis of face structure ratios and eye color analysis (pictured) is being attempted, but is not expected to yield conclusive results.
"He's just got this quality about him," says Dr. Doctorman. "...in all my years as an aesthetic scientist specialist, I've never seen anything like Mr. Kaulitz before. It's difficult to define exactly what it is about his looks that make him so fascinating."
Studies with infants have been conducted, and the results were interesting: when presented with a picture of Kaulitz and a man (whose real identity will not be revealed for confidentiality reasons) named "Ludo," infants overwhelmingly preferred to gaze at the face of Kaulitz than Ludo. This same research design was conducted with a group of Kaulitz' fans, and results were identical.
"People literally cannot tear their eyes away from Kaulitz' glorious visage," continues Dr. Doctorman with an air of awe. "Data suggest that the golden proportions of Kaulitz' face are neurologically programmed and preferred from the moment the viewer first sees Mr. Kaulitz." Dr. Doctorman has tried to develop a formula for beauty from Kaulitz' face, but Kaulitz' face causes the computers to crash and reboot the moment they begin to analyze the data.
Computers are stumped, scientists are in awe, and fans continue to scream. There appears to be no reliable explanation for Kaulitz' intense beauty other than that he is just really beautiful.
And how does Mr. Kaulitz feel about all the attention? Smiling shyly, he divulges, "I am just a normal guy. I wake up and I look in the mirror. I don't say, 'What a good looking face.' I just have a normal relationship with the way I look. I just dress how I feel from one to another day." Bill's twin brother Tom (19) jibes, "Bill and me are twins, but it is obvious who has the better face. And I'm a little better downstairs if you know what I mean. That is what the research should be about."
